The Great Spandex Adventure
by thecod
Summary: Ever wondered why DBZ takes so long find out here (oolong's escape) chapter 10 FINALLY up!!! yes i have updated after so long
1. Chapter 1

1 The Great Spandex Adventure  
  
Have you ever wondered why Dbz seems to take so long  
  
This fic may contain the answers then again it way not  
  
Disclaimer : For all those who wish I owned Dbz find the dragonballs and make it so  
  
Until then however I do not own Dbz  
  
I should also give some credit to my co-writer lynx for giving me some of the ideas  
  
And generally giving me incentive to write  
  
His user id is 196039  
  
Episode 1 : Kakkarrot's boots untied.  
  
The evil brother Radditz stands on master's roshi's island challenging his brother kakkarrot to fight for the weakling earthlings that he protects or he will take his son gohan. Kakkarrot readies himself for a fight but no his shoe laces are untied.(shock horror) can kakkarrot learn to untie his shoelaces in time to save his son.  
  
Find out in the next exiting episode of DBZ.  
  
(a/n I'll interchange between kakkarrot and goku fairly often so bear with me)  
  
Episode 2 - 4 the kidnapping.  
  
While goku struggles with his shoelaces radditz decides now is good time to comb his hair with his titanium hairbrush he then goes through the long process of combing his hair while he is doing this lets skip to eps 4 radditz has now finished combing his hair but goku struggling with the knot in his shoelaces radditz scolds kakkarrot for being unable to tie his laces as radditz has been able to do this well for three weeks now and says that he radditz will now take gohan back to his spaceship and bring him back when kakkarrot has his laces tied. Goku lunges to stop radditz but trips over his shoelaces and radditz leaves laughing with gohan to his spaceship.  
  
What will happen gohan will goku ever untie his laces. Find out the answers to these and more in the next exciting episodes of DBZ  
  
( bear with me I will be typing the next episode just after I post this) 


	2. Chapter 2

The Great Spandex Adventure  
  
  
  
Disclaimer : no one has gathered the dragonballs for me yet so I still don't own dbz.  
  
(a/n the episodes bear no relation to the actual episodes of dbz they are just to indicate how long it takes)  
  
Episode 5 :  
  
At the spaceship radditz ties gohan shoelaces to the control stick so he can't walk off he then precedes to make himself a cup of coffee, unfortunately ki blasting coffee is not recommended for a heating method as radditz discovered because the coffee turned almost into plasma and splashed all over him. To say he was minorly burned and annoyed was a major understatement.  
  
Episode 6 :  
  
Master roshi put down the pile of porn mags he was reading and sighs  
  
Goku has somehow managed to tie the garden hose into a fist sized knot that includes his shoelaces " lets see how did I teach gohan loop left over right make a loop and pull I wonder which ones the left ? mused goku. Roshi sighs again and climbs out of his hammock " Ah goku" "yes master roshi " " you know those laces your trying to tie" "yes?" "They're velcro straps "  
  
Goku looks blank and stares at the mess he's made then peers closer at his shoes  
  
before noticing three felt squares and three matching hook squares " oh "  
  
Episode 7:  
  
Else where on earth . . .  
  
Radditz was flying toward the nearest town looking for a cleaner to clean his armour of the coffee stains. Though he had a minor problem everywhere he went people ran from him at another time this would have greatly amused radditz but at the moment he needed these pathetic humans to help him and he couldn't get it. This was annoying him so much so that he got so desparate as to go to a fair to look for a cleaner he reasoned that there are lots of people at a fair they can't all run off.  
  
Spotting a clown (a/n hey he is desperate) he grabbed him and yelled " TAKE ME TO YOUR CLEANER" the poor clown was very scared and now with brown pants did what he radditz asked and after a little while a very pleased radditz with clean armour let the soiled clown go and was just about to fly off when he saw a food stall. Feeling hungry he scared off the owner and proceeded to have a feast after eating everything he spotted a couple of red toffee apples and thinking that without food gohan would be annoyed and play up which was something radditz could do without so he decided to take them back for him and with that thought he flew back to his ship  
  
So what will happen now will gohan like the toffee apples and will goku figure out how to use Velcro straps find out in the next exciting episodes of DBZ 


	3. Chapter 3

The Great Spandex Adventure  
  
Disclaimer : no dragonballs why no dragonballs does nobody like me enough to send me a drangonball so that I can wish I owned DBZ I'll grant the other person the second wish but oh well until then I still don't own DBZ  
  
I'm thinking of making this a series fic instead of doing the whole dbz series from start to finish whether I rename this the radditz saga or not I haven't decided yet but the others will be named after the saga they're in parody off  
  
Episode 8 :  
  
Returning to his ship radditz finds a dishevelled gohan but after giving him the toffee apples gohan perked up considerably (a/n lynx wrote the next bit so if it seems different to my style that's why review and tell me whose style you like best and we will write more) Gohan looks at the toffee apple expectantly before holding it out to radditz. "What do you want kid" "peel?? " "flying monkeys kid! You're as useless as your dad " radditz handed the apple back after removing the plastic wrapping. " yummy! " gohan starts picking at the toffee with his teeth. He finally pulls the whole toffee off intact " how did you do that kid ??" " yummy!! " gohan eats it with the usual saiyan vigour. " well what about the apple? " "sour"  
  
" how the heck do you know it's sour? You haven't even tried it? " sugar high from toffee starts to kick in "SOUR!!!"  
  
Gohan draws back his hand and a faint glow forms around the apple, he throughs it as hard as he can splattering itg against the console.  
  
" what'd you do that for ? I went to a lot of effort to steal you that apple, and you go and do that." Radditz looks at his apple-splattered armour and the mess that his ship is in. " Now I'm gonna have to get this cleaned again " he sighs angrily.  
  
"SOUR! Want more sugar! " " grow up kid " " more sugar " gohan looks at the pointed stick he is still holding, before jamming it between the armour plates and strait into radditz's leg. " AH you little Prick! " " More Sugar!! " " I'll give you sugar you bastard!!" radditz tries to catch gohan to chain him to the console, but gohan simply bounces off the walls chanting " More Sugar!" (a/n jay imagine what fun I'm going to have with goten later oh and I'm writing again )  
  
Having no success with catching gohan radditz simply starts to fly off. "hey where are you going !" gohan yells " to see if your father has untied his laces yet" "but don't leave me " pleads gohan . " why not kid all seem to do is make life difficult for me, just wait here I won't be long I may even bring you some sugar" in a low tone he adds " yeah right "  
  
" Okay then but you better bring me lots of sugar or I'll be pissed " (a/n if this seems OOC then remember that gohan has a sugar high at the moment)  
  
"Okay already kid I'll bring sugar " and with that radditz flys off into the distance.  
  
On the next exciting episode of dbz will radditz be pleased that goku has straitened out his shoelaces will he find sugar for gohan or tell him to stuff it and who is this mysterious stranger that wants to pick a fight with goku and radditz (he shouldn't be to hard to pick) find out in the next exciting episode of DBZ 


	4. Chapter 4

The Great Spandex Adventure  
  
Disclaimer : still no dragonballs oh well I don't own dbz then. (throw me a frickin' ball here)  
  
Lynx (Me) wrote this part but I edited it so if the tense seems strange it probably is (Me fail English, that's un-possible)  
  
(Jay)= A Thankyou goes to all those people who wrote constructive reviews  
  
I don't care if you want to flame this story but bear in mind this is my first fanfic And that if you don't tell me what I'm doing wrong I cannot fix it  
  
And you will be stuck with this s**t forever.  
  
  
  
Oh yah if your wondering why this took so long to post well engineering assignments have tendency to pop up unexpected, (lynx) = we're thinking of improving the post time by employing a handful of monkeys, and giving them all type-writers, we're hoping for a thousand to begin with, but we'd appreciate donations, as monkeys do not come in bulk anymore.  
  
  
  
Episode 9: (with apologies to Weird Al)  
  
  
  
Elsewhere on earth …  
  
A mysterious character is sitting on a plateau mediating; suddenly he opens his eyes as he senses what is happening. All the rocks that had been levitating around him fell to the ground, many of the larger ones hitting him on the head.  
  
"SO, Goku's brother is here to destroy Earth eh? I must say that I don't approve; if he does, then there won't be anything for me to conquer"  
  
Piccolo had often wondered if he was insane talking to himself, but there wasn't anyone else around to listen. Anyway, at least this way he was assured of an intelligent conversation.  
  
Goku had finally untangled his shoes, and looked at Roshi pleadingly.  
  
"Oh c'mon Goku, even 'you' should be able to do up Velcro straps."  
  
Goku looked down at the straps, many were almost torn through from his attempts to 'tie' them.  
  
Roshi sighed, and carefully did them up, trying not to tear the damaged ones off.  
  
Suddenly, a green character wearing white robed landed dramatically. Unfortunately, the effect was spoiled by the weights in the end of the cape, which whipped around, twisting it up.  
  
Whilst Piccolo was busy untangling it, Roshi, Goku and Krillin struck what they thought were good fighting poses.  
  
"So Piccolo, the time has come for your final assault against humanity." Krillin and Roshi looked at Goku with something resembling awe. "How'd that dunce manage to string together a sentence?" Krillin whispered to Roshi, Roshi just shrugged, and looked over at Goku, who was trying to scratch an itch behind his ear with his right leg.  
  
"Beats me, I think it's called 'bucketing', everything just sloshes around in his head, coming out at random. I guess that given the laws of probability, some words are bound to sound like a sentence."  
  
"Oh."  
  
Oolong and the weird turtle thing were sitting inside, in front of the TV.  
  
Oolong looked from piccolo, back to the TV, which was playing Star Wars, and back at Piccolo.  
  
"Hey, that guy looks like Yoda."  
  
Piccolos excellent hearing pick up Oolongs comment.  
  
"Yes, Yoda was once a Namek, but all the leaches on Dagobah reduced him from a 7-foot tall giant, down to a 2-foot Muppet."  
  
(Mysterious voice from off-screen: "Now I've been around, but I ain't never seen,  
  
A guy who looks like a Muppet, but he's wrinkled and green.  
  
Oh my Yoda, Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda.  
  
Yo-Yo-Yo-Yo Yoda.")  
  
Everyone looks around, trying to find the mysterious voice, suddenly, Radditz lands, still covered in rotten apple; it's beginning to turn to cider.  
  
Everyone bursts out laughing at the green Saiyan.  
  
Radditz angrily glares at the assembled characters, before reaching down, and painfully pulling the toffee-stick out of his leg.  
  
"Your son is a menace Kakarot, he stuck this in my leg!"  
  
Goku just looks at the stick in his brother's hand, before going back to trying to scratch the itch with his foot.  
  
"So, you're the one that's here to destroy Earth??"  
  
"That's right."  
  
Will Piccolo side with Radditz; will Radditz ever get his armour clean??  
  
Find out in the next exciting episode of Dragonball Z!  
  
Jay: Hey, what the hell are you doing??  
  
Lynx: what's it look like, I'm writing this out, because you wanted to go read fics instead of typing this out.  
  
Jay: ah well, carry on.  
  
Lynx: wait a minute; since you're here now, you can finish this off.  
  
Jay: it's already finished, I'm gonna go get some lunch.  
  
Lynx: I suppose you want me to post if for you as well?  
  
Jay: that would be great, thanks. (Turns to go)  
  
Lynx: (Cracks evil grin) the cat will play; what fun I can have with his FF.net account while he's not looking. He he heh heh heh BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH  
  
Jay: what?!!! Just remember I'm currently using your Internet hours at the moment, I'd hate for you to run out halfway through an assignment…  
  
Lynx: Slaggit.  
  
(a/n. well, that's all fer now folks, it's Jay's turn to do the next part, but as he said, assignments tend to hide in dark corners and jump out at you the day before they're due, so it might be a while before the next part gets posted)  
  
AND I'M NOT GONNA BE TYPING THE NEXT PART!!!!! YOU HEAR ME JAY!!!! 


	5. Chapter 5

The Great Spandex Adventure  
  
(Jay)  
  
To start with I'll try to explain the title: basically all the saiyans besides goku and his sons wear spandex so lynx and I thought what happens when we stuff around with their spandex and what will their reactions be. Currently with only radditz using spandex not much has been done on it this will change when vegeta and nappa turn up.  
  
Sorry for not posting this chapter sooner but the nasty engineering assignments have  
  
come out of the darkness and have preceded to bite us on the ass I have 3 assignments  
  
due either the end of this week or early next and lynx has about 4 I think so the next 2  
  
weeks could be pretty hectic for us which means little posting but after this we should have a two week break before exams to post plenty of chapters I hope.  
  
Disclaimer : no ones thrown us a ball (LLLLLL) OH WELL I dont own DBZ.  
  
Episode 10 : The face off begins, radditz stares angrily at piccolo, piccolo stares angrily at radditz and goku and goku just stands there with a blank look on his face while running his fingers through his hair in that trademarked son gesture.  
  
Krillin and Roshi sweatdrop at the scene before them " I think you were right about that bucketing Roshi because whatever was sloshing round up there aint there anymore".  
  
"Yeah good point ".  
  
Radditz now looks over at piccolo " so you want take over the world too eh  
  
Well this world not big enough for the both of us die jedi scum"(a/n to much star wars recently) "Hey leave piccolo alone he's not that bad "  
  
"Stay out of this kakkarrot this is between me and the namek unless, yes join me kakkarrot join the darkside it is your destiny"  
  
"I'LL NEVER JOIN YOU"  
  
Krillin and roshi from the sidelines " okay this is dramatic"  
  
" Goku I know you don't agree with my philosophies but I think we need to team up  
  
If we are to have any hope of defeating this darksider of the saiyans"  
  
" hmm I think you may be right piccolo but only for now i'm still not going to let you take over the planet without a fight"  
  
" wouldn't have it any other way"  
  
" okay let's do it ha" " ha" the two standard ki blasts arced across towards radditz who batted them away with ease " is that all you have, you have badly underestimated the power of the darkside"  
  
" um piccolo this doesn't look good "  
  
"I think I may have to agree with you there goku"  
  
" so piccolo what do we do now"  
  
"Ummm panic "  
  
What will they do now can goku and piccolo overcome the darkside power of radditz  
  
Will they panic (always a good first choice in a situation) find out in the next exciting episode of DBZ.  
  
Okay a thanks to rissa of the saiya-jin for her review it was appreciated  
  
And to Silver Reaper11 for consistently reviewing  
  
And on another point do you the readers want more chapters like this mixing dbz with  
  
A few lines of starwars or keep it standard dbz feedback would be appreciated  
  
Hopefully we'll get another chapter up this week but as I said in the intro we have a lot of assignments running round causing havoc so don't hold your breath.  
  
With a bit of luck I will be able to get lynx to do the next part  
  
Lynx( LIKE HELL)  
  
Jay oh well I tried until then r&r 


	6. Chapter 6

Darrslaggit!

Here I am, sitting 'round doing assignment work, while Jay's busily typing the next part of the fic.

(Rolls thirty-page assignment into ball, throws it into bin, cracks knuckles, leans back in chair dramatically)

I AIN'T GONNA STAND FOR THIS!!!

Heh heh, it just goes to show that fic writing 'is' more important than alg-calc.

Anyway, on with the show.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Disclaimer: No one set up us the ball, so we don't own DBZ yet.  
Unfortunately, the only monkeys we could get were smoking monkeys; it's costing us a fortune to feed 1,000 pack-a-day addicts.

 So, we're gonna have to go to plan B; using uni students in place of the monkeys, the quality in the fic's ain't gonna be as good as with monkeys, but that's the price you pay.

BTW. We've been getting heaps of questions about the title, so I thought that I'd better explain.

It all started 5 years ago (slag, not another flashback…) when DBZ first aired here in OZ, and myself and a few friends came up with the joke that Radditz would take 20 eps to tye his shoes, then Goku would do the same. Another 30 eps each would then be spent each for them to adjus their spandex, before finally settling down to fight.

As you can see, the idea has beee adapted a bit for the fic, but don't worry, it'll all resolve itself in the end (whenever 'that' is)

Radditz narrowly dodged the ki blasts, but the second one just burnt the end of Radditz' hair.

"Damn, now I'm gonna have to get it washed again"

Suddenly, Chi Chi runs out with a pair of bazookas.

"Where's my son you monster??"

Radditz sweatdrops, before looking to Goku, who has his finger pressed up to his nose, and is going crosseyed trying to focus on it.

Piccolo clips Goku over the back of the head, before taking a fighting stance.

Suddenly, Goku poked himself in the eye, snapping him back to attention.

"Wait a minute guys, why are we fighting??"

"Because a) Radditz is trying to take over the world, and b) id't what we're payed for."

"No no, I mean that this s supposed to be DragonballZ, we shouldn't fight for another forty episodes at least."

"Oh yeah."

"So, what are we gonna do in the meantime??"

Radditz stepped forward, "I propose that we all go back to kame house and get Chi Chi to cook us some toasted cheese sandwiches."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"By the way dear brother, what did you do with my son?"

"Don't worry, he won't starve."

Elsewhere on earth… 

"Stupid sayan, locking me in this spacecraft without even widing the window down, and does he really expect me to eat _this stuff??"_

Gohan looked from the dripping appley mess, which was beginning to turn to cider on the wall, and back to the ten-kilo bag of kibble that his uncle so caringly left him.

"Ah well, I guess that it's better than nothing, but he'd better bring me back loads of sugar."

Gohan took another look at the bag of dogfood, before diving into it headfirst.

Well folks, that's all for now, sorry to write so little after so long, but the two months of exams and 2 weeks of holidays have left us without any thoughts whatsoever.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

"Shut up you."

Remember, reviews give insite, insite gives thoughts, thoughts give concepts, and concepts lead to much head scratching and time wasting, which finally results in action.

So give us heaps of reviews, or we'll set the monkeys on you. (Jay wanted flying monkeys, but the research isn't completed yet, so we'll have to suffice with bats duct-taped to the backs of monkeys)


	7. Chapter 7

Back again after several delays caused by experimentation with cardboard cutouts on the backs of monkeys. We have progressed to eagle wings on their backs which means we now have gliding monkeys (hurray) unfortunately we are down to 980 monkeys as some of the early tests did, ahh not quite go as planned for a monkey with a cardboard cut-out of an eagle's wings on its back will glide when pushed off tall buildings, unfortunately they glide rather fast and we haven't figured out how to make them land yet. That is a problem we are still working on.  
  
Disclaimer : until one of our gliding monkeys finds us a dragonball (and lives to tell about it) we do not own dragonballZ  
  
Thanks to "Son Natari" and "The guy that runs peds over" for your reviews we'll try to keep uploading to some sort of a schedule (the sort where we write and post when we feel like it/get the time/can get the monkeys off the computer long enough. Who the slag taught them to play solitaire anyway??) and keep our general insanity happening   
Mind you we'll do just about anything for chocolate. The bat-monkeys are working perfectly now, but are unable to carry any weight. Maybe if 4 monkeys carried the chocolate on a vine or something.

"Yeah, but are monkeys migratory?"  
"What does that matter?"  
"Well, how are they going to get all that way with a block of chocolate on a vine if they're non-migratory."

"It isn't a matter of whether the monkeys are migratory, as to whether or not the bats are."

"Oh yeah."

Maybe if we tried multiple bats per monkey? Or perhaps put eagle wings on the bats and then tied the bats to the monkeys??

Anyway, on with the show.  
  
The Great Spandex Adventure 7  
  


"What! You think that I'm just going to make you food after you fight me husband and kidnap my son?? You must be as brainless as Goku pretends to be!" Chi Chi screamed at Radditz.

"Ah my ears! Anyway, by feeding us we won't be fighting anymore. I'll be more inclined to free your son and what did you say about Kakarot being smart? My ears were ringing, but not that badly."

"Goku is smart, he's teaching Gohan advanced algebra when he's only four. It is testament to his teaching skills that his son is earning so fast. His dumb act is just to make his opponents let their guard down. Why do you think he is such a good genius when it comes to fighting?"

Goku pulled his finger out of his ear and looked at it expectantly, "Oh Chi Chi, did you have to tell him that? I try to keep it a secret you know"

Piccolo leaned over to Radditz just as Goku stuck the same finger up his nose without wiping it off first, "He's a very good actor isn't he?"

"Hmm."

"A little too good if you ask me. In my opinion, I think that he really is nuts, but he acts smart to act dumb."

"That's still pretty smart."

"Agreed, but I think that the real reason why he's teaching Gohan algebra while he's so young is so that hopefully when he gets to high school he'll have forgotten all his fathers teachings."

"I'd agree with that."

Suddenly, Bulmas mum came in. (with a pitcher of lemonade)

"Ooh, who's this handsome young man Chi Chi?"

"It's Goku's brother."

"Goku's brother eh, is he single?"

Radditz looked perplexed, he turned to his brother for support only to find him trying very hard to lick his elbow.

"Don't you know that's impossible little brother?"  
"Yeah, but that's why I'm trying."

"Honestly, I bet that if you still had a tail you'd be chasing it all day."

"Can I chase yours?"  
Radditz almost sweatdropped, but caught himself at the last moment.

"Phew, that was close."  
"So, who's up for lemonade, I'm sure this handsome young man would like a glass."

"Uh yeah, KAKAROT WHAT ARE YOU DOING?????"  
Goku was over by the kitchen scales with his head on them.

"I'm trying to find out how much my head weighs, but each time I look up at the needle it says 'zero'"

"OF COURSE IT DOES YOU FOOL, YOU'RE TAKING YOUR HEAD OFF THEM TO READ THEM!!!"  
"Oh, well what would you suggest?"  
"GET BACK OVER HERE!"  
"Ok ok, no need to shout. Hey look, there's ice in this lemonade. He he, look how it swirls around!"

"My brother, the idiot."  
  


Will Radditz get hen-pecked? Can Goku keep up the dum but smart maybe is dum but might be smart playing dumb playing smart reverse phycology act and will lynx and I ever get our flying monkeys (or our chocolate??)  
Find out in the next exiting episode of The Great Spandex Adventure.


	8. Chapter 8

"Look! One of the Monkeys has found a Dragonball!!"

"What?!?!"

"Look, over there!"

"Hey, you're right. Oh slag. It's only an orange. YOU STUPID MONKEY!"

Anyway, because of the incompetence of monkeys, we don't own DBZ yet, so you can't sue us, nyah nyah!

Hmm, sorry this post's been slow lately, I've (Lynx) have been working a lot on my own fics, and Jay's working hard on Repentance (a damn good fic, you MUST read it!!!) And while you're at it, read my stuff :o(

So, forgive the lack of enthusiasm, hopefully now that I'm writing this I'll be more motivated, and can get Jay to go do chapter 9 (you can't get him to work like that, you gotta poke him with a stick!)

Hmm, there's a thought; maybe the monkeys just need airspeed. I wonder if taping them to fireworks would work. "HEY YOU, GET HERE!"

Ahem, on with the show.

Goku stuck his head inside the pitcher of lemonade, splashing most of it out onto the floor.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?!"

"All my life I've wondered what it's like the be an ice cube, so I thought I'd try and see things from one's perspective."

"Now I remember why father never took us anywhere when we were kids."

"Oh yeah, hey, remember that time when we were at the all you can eat buffet, and you climbed into the salad bar and they couldn't get you out?"

"That was you you idiot."  
"Oh yeah, well what about that time that you got your head stuck in that letterbox thingy."  
"Again little brother, that was you."

"Hmm. Well, what about that time when we were at the palace, and you broke Prince Vegetas favourite toy and then told him that Nappa did it."

"I must admit that was kinda funny. Remember how Veggie tried blasting Nappa, but it wasn't much more than warmth and we all crowded around?"

"Heh, and then Vegeta got really annoyed and set fire to Nappa's hair?" 

"It never did grow back properly you know."

"Those were the good days."

Chi Chi looked perplexed at the way that Goku was being so friendly with someone who had kidnapped his son, and after tea and biscuits would probably try and kill him.

Goku looked around at the assembled crowd before realising that he'd stopped acting stupid, and quickly resumed trying to lick his elbow.

"Sigh. You really are an idiot Goku."

Bulmas mum was still standing over in the corner with a stupid grin on and holding the now empty pitcher she blew Radditz a kiss before heading off to get more. Radditz tried to hide behind his brother, but Goku thought it was a game and tried to get behind his brother, in the process knocking the table, which sent the coffee all over Oolong.

Well people, what'd you think?? Sorry to be so short (it's still longer than the last chapter), but I'm fresh out of ideas. 

Now, where's a good place to buy fireworks...

And remember to please close cover before striking friends.


	9. pork hunt

Back again to continue our random insanity please note that this fic is not about to die however it may go to sleep for long periods of time before we can wake it up again 

Review thanks 

_Arien_Saijin_Princess_ thanks i'll see what I can do 

_Bmath2002 good to see you here thanks and we're not intending that this should die anytime soon but most of my attention at the moment is directed at repentance_

_Chibigokan thanks we try to keep random insanity happening but it is pretty random _

Now on with the intro 

5, 4,3,2,1 lift-off approaching separation BOOM 

OH WELL flight trials with our monkeys our progressing at an amazing rate however we seem to have a fireworks separation problem where the monkeys go boom before they can actually get sufficient airspeed to travel any distance and to add to this we're losing monkeys at an unacceptable rate who do they think they are to just go and blow themselves up on us 

So until this problem can be rectified we may have to suspend trials but i'm sure we can find a way. 

Disclaimer : As i've sold my soul to the devil well Vegeta anyway in return for giving him fanfic authors protection from pink he's promised to give me bulma's dragon radar so soon all of DBZ will be mine BWHAHAHAHAHA. 

"AHHHHHH that friggen hurt be a bit bloody careful what you're knoking over goku" Oolong yelled. 

"Sorry oolong didn't see you there" 

"Hey brother you talking to that pink pig thing" 

"Yeah I just spilled the coffee over him why" 

"I was just wondering how do you feel like a bit a bacon" 

"Mmm bacon but were are we going to get some bacon from we're miles from the nearest town" 

"We've got a source of bacon right in front of us what do you say we roast it" 

Evil smirk more suited to radditz crosses goku's face "what do you say whichever one of us manages to catch the bacon can do the carving" 

"You're on little brother let's catch us some pork" 

"AHHHHHHH run away run away I don't want to be bacon" 

"Quick kakkarot after it our bacon's getting away" 

"Right i'll tail him you head him off at the pass" 

"AHHHHHHHH" 

"I nearly got him I just missed his tail" 

"Yeah this bacon can move sideways bloody fast" 

"AHHHHH" 

"Kakkarot if we both ki blast this side of the bacon then that will force him to move that way then we can grab him, ready" 

"Yep" ha ha 

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK" 

"Right I got the front you got his tail kakkarot" 

"Yeah lets go roast us some pork" 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO" 

"Hmm what oven settings do we need for pork kakkarot" 

"I don't know I normally leave the cooking to chichi" 

"Hmm we'll set it for 160 celsius then and 3 hours then I just love slow roast pork" 

"Yeah I can hardly wait so have you got a good hold" 

"Yeah" 

"Well hold on tight while I open the oven" 

"There now it's open shove him and i'll shut the door and lock it so he can't get out" 

"NOOOOOO I DON'T WANT TO BE COOKED" 

"Right ready 1,2,3 in you go " 

"**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"**

**"Bang"**

"He's in there now lets just sit back and wait for our slow cooked pork" 

"Mmmm pork" 

That will do for now i'll see if I can get lynx to do the next part but it could be difficult 

"Ya got that bit bloody right jay you'll never take me alive" 

So has radditz managed to corrupt goku will poor oolong be turned into slow roast pork 

Find out whenever we manage to post the next chapter. 


	10. Oolong's escape

After many many moons of inactivity on this fic I thought some random insanity could be used by the general populace and myself besides lynx has been annoying me to do something.  
  
Review thanks :  
  
Stephanie : thanks Lauren5 : thanks will see what I can do Wicked Woman : thanks for all your reviews Vegesa: SSJ Jedi Knight : thanks Dark-Sephy : yes I've finally got around to it.  
  
Disclaimer: monkey trials have been suspended to a combination of factors ranging from nicotine addiction (damn smoking monkeys) to unacceptable losses bloody combustion does anyone know where we can find none explosive monkeys. Oh and vegeta's lost the bloody dragon radar the useless beeeeeep.  
  
Oolongs escape :  
  
LET ME OUT !!!!  
  
"Hey Radditz our pork ain't done yet." Goku's slow dopy grin was back along with a fair slab of saliva.  
  
"Don't know why we've had it cooking for a few months now" Radditz was wondering how long this damn pig would take to cook.  
  
"It's simple really"  
  
"huh" goku and radditz looked around to see who knew the secret to cooking a pig.  
  
Piccolo shook his head such simpletons "the blue bush to two k's away controls the pigs heat temperature he's simply dissipating it all the time"  
  
"what really"  
  
"yes how else can you explain it" Piccolo had the air of one who knew that he was right. it was a simple thing and he only had to pull it off for a couple more minutes  
  
"okay let's go get it and destroy it bro" Goku's insanity was catching and radditz flew off with him in the direction of the bush.  
  
Piccolo smirked mission one accomplished mission 2 under way. He went quickly to the oven door opened it and pulled out a very hot pig.  
  
"YEOOOOOOWWW GENTLE EASY OF THE BURNS."  
  
"Shuttup oolong and split they'll be back soon"  
  
"crap" and with a flash of speed oolong was gone  
  
piccolo deciding now that discretion really was the greater part of valour did the same.  
  
When goku and radditz entered the house a minute later without being able to find that plant they discovered a eerie sight. The oven was empty.  
  
Radditz roar echoed throughout the house.  
  
"RIGHT WHICH BASTARD FLOGGED OUR PIG."  
  
Okay I'll try not to be as long with the next maybe lynx will do it BOOOOOM or maybe not it seems he's still having monkey difficulties Anyway please review 


End file.
